You are STILL the standard.
I never meant to hurt you. I think you know that. But know also that… You gave me peace and joy. You arms were the ultimate security. And you could hug me for as long as I needed to hug you. And I felt cared for. I felt so loved.

I trusted you most. I never had to be scared with you or insecure. You always made me smile. And you were so sweet. So beautiful. So kind. So loving. So forgiving. So respectful. So charming.

I wanna forget you so badly. I wish that God never allowed us yo meet but I’m so glad he did. I needed you. I’ll never be the same because of you. But I’m not sure I’ll ever love to my full capacity ever again either. Or be loved to the expectation you’ve given.

And I’m sorry for being mean. I just wanted you to leave. To hate me. I wish you had done something evil to make this easier. Knowing one day I would have to let you go… Our lives moving on different paths. I wish you had done me wrong. But I’m glad you didn’t. Because you’re pure. And I rather be in constant pain due to your good nature than be set free because of an one instance mistake.

I wish everything for you that you gave to me. But I wish you none of it if I can’t embrace it with you. Although I wish you not a sad and lonely life… I’d die knowing you were happy without me there to create it. I’m selfish. I’m unkind. I’m undeserving. I’m missing your essence. Your scent. Your laugh. Your soul. 

I know you have no sympathy for me. I just… Had to get this off of my mind. To cope. Maybe sleep. Until… I miss you again


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