I must explain. You and I live on the same planet but not in the same world. I live in a castle. I am morphing into a dragon although I want to star as a princess. But, the lion guarding my escape keeps pressuring me. You’d think morphing would bring me more power but it actually brings me more doom. My abilities as a princess are stronger than anything.
Update: I have yet to have my court case settled. I had a small 10 minute meeting with the judge. Saturday 2nd. My lawyer encouraged me to continue to be patient. Monday 4th.
This Sunday I offered an outing for fun and laughter. We never made it. I was basically told in so many words “it’s too far”. So we only had dinner at a nearby restaurant. I was then offered to just walk around or go and watch a movie. I expressed how I did not want to do that. All we ever do is watch movies. (btw… it has been 3 weeks since the foundation has been discussed)
I wanted to go golf and to the arcade. We never do anything as just us two. Except watch a movie. Go get food. Watch a movie. If we do anything else it’s only when there is a group of us. I wanna go fish, kayaking, hike, paintball, laser quest…
Yet, when it is Sunday and we are both tired from work and the lack of sleep we get on Saturday nights…. you’ll go 20 minutes to the military wilderness park to hang with the crew. And then back to someone’s house for a few rounds of cards until midnight. Yet you wonder why I am so irritated with you.
“If you’re going through hell, keep going.”
– Winston Churchill
So Monday I was made to sleep on the floor. Then Tuesday I received a phone call because someone was giving away kittens. Wanted to know how I felt. I said I do not want a kitten. You just made me sleep on the floor. Then the next day you offer me a kitten? Why would I take that? So you can control the kitten and take it away from me whenever you are mad. I have learned to not be attached to things too much. Especially anything you gift me. Because you try to use it as leverage and manipulation when you are displeased with me. I choose to be unbothered. I know that everything that I have is finite with you involved.
I was always demanded to stand in the corner and face it until you told me that I could move. And when you demanded me to apologize to you for being “disobedient” for not lying on my back the way you wanted me, you didn’t accept my apology and later told me to apologize again, which I refused.
(Yes, reader. Literally for not lying on my back the way they imagined in their mind.)
You came to me and said Tuesday night “I was doing some thinking and I shouldn’t have made you sleep on the floor. So you can sleep in the bed. But, I’m telling you, if there is no change, I have other punishments in place and they will be permanent.”
So I slept on the floor Tuesday night and Wednesday night. I don’t accept your gift. Sleeping in the bed is not a right in this castle. It is… a privilege when dealing with you. And if I take this “gift” you are bestowing upon me, I am just setting myself up. I rather not get comfrotable to have it snatched from me again. I rather sleep on the floor. Especially… since you never apologized. Saying “I did some thinking” is not an apologizing. Offering me a kitten is not an apology. You must SAY it from you mouth. Hence… CONFESS YOUR FAULTS. Yet, you spend all of your time demanding me to do so.
Wednesday night you asked me why I was on the floor? Why wasn’t I on the bed? I asked… “why can’t I be on the floor?” And it was left at that. Should I really have to explain to you why I am on the floor?
Now today… is Thursday morning.
::what kind of hell are YOU going through? maybe we can escape in words together::